Celebrity gossip items you may have missed this week…
>>> Elin Nordegren is rich. Like really, really rich. She is reportedly set to receive $750 million in her divorce from Tiger Woods (or $100 million depending on who you believe). Now that, my friends, is what I like to call “one expensive hot piece of ass”. Yep. Just made that up.
>>> Let’s get right to the Lindsay Lohan news of the week. Lilo got punched in the face. At least according to her, as she tweeted, “A waitress just hit me – punched me for no reason.” Oh, I am sure she had a reason, Lindsay. Maybe you stole something from her too.
>>> Mel Gibson is still a raving racist lunatic, at least if you think saying things like, “You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.” to his soon-to-be ex-wife qualifies one as a raving racist lunatic, that is. Oh yeah, he is also accused of beating up his soon-to-be ex-wife. That too.
>>> Katy Perry and Anna Kournikova were on the same TV show at the same time and somehow men of the world did not die from an erection lasting longer than four hours.
>>> Jason Bateman’s PR people apologized for him being a dick. Well, technically he apologized for cutting in line at the Apple store, but like he really gives a sh-t.
>>> Britney Spears is being investigated for child abuse. Now? Now she’s being investigated? Not when she was rolling around town with her kids not in child seats? Not when she was shaving her head and talking in a British accent? Now?
>>> Lady Gaga finally came out of the closet and admitted she is, in fact, a man. That or she just tried another lame publicity stunt. One of those things.
>>> Oprah is back on top of the Forbes 100 Most Powerful Celebrities list. Last year’s leader Angelina Jolie (who says she wants to quit acting) is down to #18.
>>> Remember Amy Locane? From 90210 (the old one)? Well, she’s been charged with second-degree vehicular homicide and third-degree assault by auto for a little DUI escapade she had a while back. However, if she’s lucky and goes the Rebecca Gayheart route she’ll be free to participate in lame sex tapes and her life will go one as if no one got killed.
>>> Vince Neil got arrested. For DUI. In other words, “Duh.”
>>> Madonna doesn’t like Lady Gaga, because she thinks Lady Gaga is copying her. Typing that sentence almost made me take a pencil and stab my brain through my eyeball. Almost time to stop for the day.
>>> Tonya Harding got married again. Seriously.
>>> And finally in more news no one cares about, former Miss California Carrie Prejean and horrible NFL quarterback Kyle Boller are getting married. Let’s just pray that there isn’t another lame reality TV show coming somewhere down the line featuring these two dopes.
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